I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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