I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
