Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
