i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
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I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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