That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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