Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
