all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
