I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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