I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize