Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize