Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand. http://tfl.nu/3nr4
  Replies (31) Good night (5099) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you. http://tfl.nu/k985
  Replies (44) Good night (7695) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/6jkk
  Replies (10) Good night (4273) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead. http://tfl.nu/inh1
  Replies (18) Good night (1205) Bad night (3178)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that http://tfl.nu/xola
  Replies (7) Good night (2627) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (665) Bad night (1728)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  What other scale is there?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale. (602): What other scale is there? http://tfl.nu/fdnh
  Replies (17) Good night (2574) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms. http://tfl.nu/7exr
  Replies (9) Good night (1672) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed. http://tfl.nu/mfiw
  Replies (7) Good night (833) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic. http://tfl.nu/24xb
  Replies (2) Good night (1081) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards http://tfl.nu/vn30
  Replies (2) Good night (1295) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?' http://tfl.nu/4a3m
  Replies (7) Good night (2037) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you? http://tfl.nu/5tj4
  Replies (8) Good night (717) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger. http://tfl.nu/jsvx
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat. (1-618): Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research! http://tfl.nu/3g8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1511) Bad night (247)

Randomize