it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.