Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker. http://tfl.nu/49dy
  Replies (25) Good night (4331) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel. http://tfl.nu/5pvk
  Replies (25) Good night (669) Bad night (3276)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.

  (818): View more from California

  Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.

  (818): View more from California

  And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week. (818): Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks. (818): And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it. http://tfl.nu/ncbc
  Replies (14) Good night (3478) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it http://tfl.nu/fu71
  Replies (43) Good night (4573) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope http://tfl.nu/5njb
  Replies (17) Good night (730) Bad night (4221)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now. http://tfl.nu/tt7k
  Replies (8) Good night (4595) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately. http://tfl.nu/cwhn
  Replies (30) Good night (2126) Bad night (5027)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents http://tfl.nu/zd1e
  Replies (60) Good night (1633) Bad night (4763)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  ...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): ...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex http://tfl.nu/2clh
  Replies (17) Good night (4912) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. (410): engineering majors are such efficient drunks. http://tfl.nu/xm4l
  Replies (22) Good night (8368) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. http://tfl.nu/hgck
  Replies (4) Good night (1871) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright? http://tfl.nu/mgmn
  Replies (4) Good night (1750) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there. http://tfl.nu/1ncw
  Replies (0) Good night (817) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.

  (917): View more from New York City

  That's how he does EVERYTHING!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball. (917): That's how he does EVERYTHING! http://tfl.nu/mjzo
  Replies (0) Good night (586) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment. http://tfl.nu/fg5i
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (330)

Randomize