Tell her she can't have a vagina
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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