My hand turned me down
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism