i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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