I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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