you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
