Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
