so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
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"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
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Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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