this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
