judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can I color on your dick again?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
