Midget sex pt 2 tonight
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
