it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
