Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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