Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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