I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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