Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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