In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
