So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
