Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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