Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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