"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize