he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Drake has all the answers
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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