Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
