All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
