I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
