my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
false alarm. still invincible.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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