She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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