peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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