the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
