he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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