he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
