you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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