oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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