I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
