lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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