Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
