KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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