Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
