Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
