i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
