come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
