spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
