so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
