i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize