You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
