so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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